My brothers and I were raised from the very beginning as JWs and the memories are very dark: sitting with my head down at school during the pledge of allegiance, staying in the library while everyone went to see “The Nutcracker” at Christmastime, no school carnivals, sports, scouts, or friends outside of the Kingdom Hall. Those are my childhood memories, cloaked in the throat-choking hold of the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society. My journey out began when the world didn’t end in 1975 as The Watchtower had prophesied. My dad was an elder and an important part of the local ‘overseer’ group. I was only seven in 1975, and my parents had never owned a house, never gone to college, never made plans to do anything more important than pioneering.

So when the world didn’t end, my parents got on with their lives. I remember the circuit overseers, the elders and the other women in the Hall who came to our house repeatedly for months with graven faces and threats – which I certainly didn’t understand. We never saw our friends again. We never heard from our grandparents or extended family again. We never went back to the Kingdom Hall. We never did another family “bible study.” It was as if we had been sucked into a black void of nothingness. And no one in our family said a word about it.

To me this was a gift. I was young and it opened doors for me that my older brothers never had. I could hear God calling me from my earliest memories, and though I had no idea who Christ was, I sought Him relentlessly. When I was old enough to drive, I went to church with anyone who would take me, while at the same time becoming deeply consumed by sin, taking part in things that horrify me when I think of them today. Then God got my attention: several family members died and it shook my life dramatically. Then a friend’s little, old grandma cornered me one day in her living room. She looked me in the eyes and asked me if I was saved. I had no idea what she meant, but I knew that all I wanted was to be saved.

So I kept going to church with anyone who would take me, and I watched all the late-night preachers on television, and repeated the sinner’s prayer over and over and over. But I thought it would be years before I could bask in the glorious peace of Christ’s unconditional love and grace.

But the basking has come. Jesus is God. The Holy Spirit lives within me. I am saved, living an eternal life, and will praise Christ in heaven! God called me, met me, and now leads me every day. My husband and I are blessed beyond all human comprehension.

My name is Judy Martin, and I'm a HappyXWitness!
San Antonio, Texas